Day 34: Sarah Palin's Black Counterpart

Recognize this shining face of republican "feminism"? Remember the woman who makes the G.O.P wish they had never voted to give women equality? Everyone is familiar with Sarah Palin, the dumb sack of hair who's not only shitting herself, but the rest of America, in thinking she has a shot against Obama in 2012. Well I thought God was a funny bastard when he broke several molds to make her, a real vindictive S.O.B in terms of humor. I mean he really outdid himself with people like Condolezza Rice (who's name sounds like a former food option at Taco Bell) and George Bush Jr (who basically fucked America even more). So where Sarah Palin graced the world's stage in 2008, i thought the state of women in the media/positions of power couldn't get any worse.
It wasn't until a much needed day of laziness when my friend Jessica texted me and brought to my attention someone who may give Sarah Palin a run for her money. Earlier she had divulged some information to me about lil wayne having one too many baby mamas and kids (what a total and complete surprise!). I asked her how she knew....




Jessica: Wendy William's show
I turn to Fox (cringes) to see a tall, black woman with blonde hair prancing around in a leopard print top. her voice is an assult on the ear drums, like ashley simpson trying to sing before she realized the best thing she could do for humanity is lie on her back for pete wentz of Fall out Fags. Oh lord, i'm sorry, i mean fall out boy! (like there's really a difference)

Me: Wtf is wrong with her dress?!
Jessica: Idk but it looked like 2 leopards attacked her tranny ass!
I think maybe i should interject that my friend Jessica is convinced that she used to be a man. Not that my friend has problems with transgendered people, but her and i both agree sometimes in the quest for womanhood, transgendered people tend to look like extremely over-exaggerated versions of women.
Me: Lmao! Yup! She kind of reminds me of what ru paul aspires to be
Jessica: What a big ass linebacker trannie?
Me: No a man who goes all the way to be a woman. She is just taking everything black women tried to accomplish and lynches it.
Jessica: Ya i know right. she pushin our accomplishments to jena 6 status
Me: Lmao true that! I wonder why people think she would be a good talk show host
Jessica: White folks! That's why she's on fox! They tryin to embarrass us g!
Me: Well thy suceedin g! They winning that race by a long shot
Jessica: Yup they is!
Me (growing frustrated while watching): Man, if only she had o.d while being on that stuff! Horrible, i know.......but it would make life so much easier.
Jessica: Man she's too fucking big to o.d. She need to take tranquilizers
Me: Well w/e method they wanna use, she just needs to stop, drop....no rolling unless she's dead.
Jessica: Lmao! hell yes and da white folks who thought giving her a show would be a good idea too need to croak
Me: Amen to that!

Now I know Wendy Williams is more educated then Sarah Palin, i mean if you measure one's level of intellegence by what kind of college they went to. I also understand Wendy Williams is supposed to be entertaining where as Sarah Palin is just entertaining because shes' stupid. But there are a couple of things that bother me about Wendy Williams nonetheless

1. The hair: Now if you're going to wear weave, then please jesus, get some packs close to your natural hair color and not ones that are so much lighter than your skin color.
   
2. her so called curves: the media is raving about her being such a "curvy" person. everyone fails to mention how artificial they are. take it from someone who has a bigger bra size than most women in America naturally, i don't have a problem with plastic surgery. she doesn't display herself well. she doesn't wear clothes that really lend to her figure but instead just makes her look like a porn star who can wear more than lingerie and got her own t.v. show.
   
3. her show is pure gossip! she's just a black version of the insider or TMZ. i never thought i'd see the day where i say even tyra does better than her. at least tyra is trying to address issues which are affecting the demographic that her show is aimed toward. I've watched three youtube episodes of wendy williams and it seems like its all gossip. and poorly articulated gossip at that. it seems like she struggles with sentences, like the synapses fire only to die somewhere, possibly retreating back to the primordial ooze for reprogramming.
   
4. having your show on fox, as a person of color, is the worst fucking idea ever. the only thing fox can do well is write sitcoms, because its fiction! especially when fox has rarely represented the interests of African Americans in a positive way. its like an oxy moron to be black and have your show on fox.
   
5. people talking about how sassy she is. in my personal opinion, there is a way to be sassy without being hideously crast. she's not clever, she's just belligerent in a way that's just....trashy.
   

I mean lets be real, while women of color talk show hosts seem to be of a garden variety, the odds are usually stacked against us. oprah's show used to be nothing more than a gossip rag until she bought it and turned into what she wanted the show to be. tyra's show attempted to follow the lineage of oprah, but instead she has learned she can't be oprah and just has decided to do things her own way. wendy williams on the other hand, appears as if her only function is to gossip.

way past being a talk show host, she doesn't do anything to help the image of women of color in the media! i, as a strong black women, struggle to accept that much of what comprises black and even main stream media is filled with black women who's only role in society is to be an embarrassment. i sit and watch these women who black magazines and t.v shows label as go getters, but i can't help but think "by what standards qualifies you to be a go getter?" it seems that

• if you have a lot of money and you were previously down trodden/poor in your past life
• you're able to afford all the designers which black people seem to love but have fallen off over the years (like coach for example. what ever happened to charging people outrageous prices for real leather? now its all p.v.c)
• you're able to start in both "blackbusters" and mainstream movies as well.
• you're able to star in music videos with little to nothing on, and fuck your way to the top.
  

but here's what aren't apparent qualifiers for successful black women

• giving back to the community you came from
• promoting a way of living that is healthy, happy, respectful
  
• positions on political issues/taking part in civil rights issues'
• promoting safe sex/HIV prevention, literacy, college.....hell things that actually matter over fame and fortune
• being independent, not relying on a famous man for your place in this world. *cough cough* Tiny and Toya!
• sending a message to young women

we need more famous women of color who are going to do the aforementioned and not just be bed warmers to the mattress of fame and fortune. we need to revere the women who came before us, like Katherine Dunham, Josephine Baker, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughn (personal favorites who i grew up idolozing). we also need to uphold the people who are really trying to make a difference now (india arie, soledad o brien, the list goes on and on.)

the ability for black women to stand up and claim truth, strength, wisdom, courage, is slowly fading, and people like Wendy aren't helping the scenery.

so sorry Wendy, until you prove yourself otherwise, i'm convinced that you could possibly give Sarah Palin a run for her money in the department of "outrageous ass women who just need to sit the fuck down! or better yet, just go back in the kitchen!"