Day 27: The Future is Upon us., RUN LIKE HELL

so in my day of laziness i was talking to my friend Avery. among many topics of conversation, we were talking about all the things we gotta set out to accomplish now that we're off to college. he's gotta go do big things in film, and i gotta take over the literary world.
in talking to him, i realized at my age we're past the point of dreaming. its no longer satisfactory to look starry eyed out the window and ask the night sky to make all our wishes come true. i can't look at the empty pages of the many journals littering my bookshelf and whisper "i wish i was a writer." I have to start thinking like someone who has a story to tell, someone who wishes for their voice to be heard without having to part their lips. i have to stop living in my mind and start breathing on paper.
so for the past two nights I've been writing in this journal i got as a birthday present when i turned 16. each night i write what comes to me for about an hour while listening to music. i edit what I've just written, rip out the page, and start over again. i like to have moderately clean copies of my writing, but i always manage to save the first drafts some how. my characters don't have names, they don't have races. if i had to put a label to what I'm writing, its an anonymous story of sorts. i'm just not in the frame of mind to add attributes to them yet. i know in my mind they're black, but what kind of black people they are is a mystery to me. i always love toying with the idea of relationships between black artists, because sometimes i feel like in books they are limited strictly to music or dance. what about the hood painter who longs to be the next van gough of the ghetto? what about the sculptor who wants to mold penis like Michelangelo did for David but not be demeaned for being gay? what about the installation artist who wants to create pieces that speak to the state of the black race?
personally, all this thinking makes me wish i was more artistically inclined beyond just writing and photography. ahh well....maybe i can learn how to be an installation artist or some jazz like that.